What's your best feature?

Since I am ever tempted to focus on the temporal, immediate and frivolous; I'm afraid that I have to admit that I've looked closely at Prov. 31 trying to find some inkling as to what this woman looked like. There are mentions of her clothing, but I was looking for some physical description that I could relate to. Was she fat, thin, or perfect? Did she have a figure or facial fault? Was she pretty or plain? As you probably knew already, there isn't any clue. She's spoken of as having strong arms and legs, but strength isn't an indicator of anything other than the ability to work hard. Strong legs and arms come in all shapes and sizes.

There is really only one physical feature that's repeatedly mentioned: her hands.

v13 She works willingly (or in delight)with her hands

v16 with the fruit of her hands she plants

v19 her hands work with the spindle and her hands work the distaff

v20 she reaches her hands to the poor

v31 it's the fruit(or product) of her hands that is given to her to prove her worthy of praise

I don't know about you, but I was hoping more for an excuse to go out and get an expensive manicure. I feel certain that that's not the point being expressed here. I guess the question is, if God were going to describe you, would your hands and the fruit they produce be your most striking feature? So striking in fact that no physical description would be necessary, everyone would already know who was being spoken of.

Contrast that with another Proverbs woman found in Prov. 14:1 whose hands are also mentioned. "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands". This woman will have no works to show, because she's too busy tearing things down. Why? I honestly don't know. Perhaps to remake them the way she wants them, perhaps because she's impossible to satisfy or please; but no matter what the reason, the end result is the same. She has nothing to show for her work but ruins. Her hands were not her best feature, but her worst.

As an aside here it's important to remember both the definition of wisdom, and the definition of foolishness from Scripture. We all bring our own ideas when we come to a word or concept, and it's important to use God's definition and not our own. Jesus defined both terms in Mt. 7:24-27:

"Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. Now everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand; and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall." NKJV

From this passage it's clear that wisdom is hearing what God says and doing it. By contrast, foolishness is then defined for us as hearing what God says and not doing it. Which woman's hands do you want to have? the wise or the foolish? the productive or the destructive?

This changes my perspective on what my best feature should be. Time to work on having beautiful hands, hands that are wise and productive.

Proverbs 31 pt.2

Proverbs 31:10 reads: "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies."

As a Christian wife and Mom I want to be a precious treasure like the verse talks about. Being virtuous is obviously the key, but I wasn't completely sure what I thought virtuous meant. I checked another translation and it said "excellent". Well, virtuous sounds to me like extremely morally good, and excellent sounds like good grades in school. Either way I fall short. I decided to check the Hebrew because sometimes you can tell alot about a word by finding out what else it is translated as. What I found was fascinating.

The Hebrew word CHAYIL is used about 240 times in the Old Testament, but only 5 times in reference to women. It is actually a "man" word. Most commonly it is translated as the word "army" or a word that refers to an army, like "force" or "host". Second most common was the word valour or valiant (depending how it was used in the verse) referring specifically to bravery in battle. David is referred to a valiant man in 1Sam. 16:18. The men who rescued Saul and Jonathan's bodies from the Philistines, who had them on display, are called valiant men. As you can probably guess, the third most common translation are words like "might", "strength", and "power". ie "It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect." Ps.18:32

So, Who can find a valiant, strong army of a woman? An interesting picture comes to mind, and one which is totally different than what I thought this mother was saying to her son. Why the picture of a brave warrior for a wife to treasure?

Today we need women of valor, brave and mighty in the Lord, who hold their children and their homes for Jesus. Home, family and marriage are all under siege. To defeat the enemies of self, the world and the devil, a Christian woman needs to be strong in the Lord. She needs to spend time with God, know the Word, live the Word, and pray.

The world has a million definitions of what a woman should be and just as many distractions to keep her from being the strong soldier the Lord calls her to be. It is so easy to be drawn away from what's really important and eternal to focus instead on the temporal and the trivial. Externals are irrelevant. Your beauty will fade, and your body will droop (gravity is a cruel master). Focusing on such things is like worrying about the bag your purchases are in rather than opening the bag and removing the treasure within. ( Of course there are stores that think women really care about the bag they take their purchases home in.... but they are also often stores that exploitively want women to believe that externals are what is important.) Your body is the bag you live in. Don't pay too much attention to it.

I said the word CHAYIL is used 5 times of women, twice in Prov. 31(vs. 10 and 29), Prov. 12:4, and twice in the book of Ruth. In Ruth 3:11 Boaz says of Ruth, " all the city of my people know that you are a virtuous woman." Ruth is the only named woman in Scripture referred to as virtuous. She left her people, her homeland, her family, to follow her mother-in-law Naomi back to Israel because she believed in the one true God. She worked in the fields gleaning the leavings of the reapers to feed Naomi and herself. She submitted to Naomi's plan for her to marry a much older man to provide home and substance for them. Those are all soldierly valiant decisions and the proof is in the results. Ruth is the great-grandmother of King David "a man after God's own heart". Ruth's family held for the kingdom for generations and she is the matriarch of that family, though her predecessors were pagan. This valiant woman from a heathen land is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus.

Prov. 12:4 "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that causes shame is like rottenness in his bones." I'd always thought of this verse in the context of goodness or moral purity, and surely an immoral woman would be a devestation as a wife. The picture here though is of a brave, valiant woman. The bones are the structure of the body, and rotten bones would cause weakness and collapse. A woman who stands strong in her relationship with the Lord and is faithful in her family to live the Word and teach the Word to her children provides a strong framework for her husband to lead. If she did not, the family would rot from within.

The admonition from the start of this chapter then is for the son to seek out a warrior of a wife. I had a dear sister in the Lord ask me in service about how this looks in practical life. I gave a pretty inane answer because I'm not very quick on my feet (especially when the mike is shaking). I realized later that the answer is an unexpected one. God is most often in the little things and uses those to build big things in our lives. In the chapter so much attention is given to her work, and that of course is the point. Anytime you chose the right thing instead of the easy thing you do battle. The work you do for your family matters. Choosing to cook instead of fast food, preparing ahead of time for their needs, and all the other small things you do for your family work together in God's plan to build a mighty family for Him. And that dear sisters takes a warrior woman.

proverbs 31

I spent last week musing on this Bible chapter, because my pastor called and asked me to say a few words on Sun. concerning whatever the Lord laid on my heart. On the fifth Sundays he usually talks about families, and this fifth Sunday the topic was women. I am not a public speaker. I like teaching children, teens, even college age; but getting up in front of people (adult people) makes my knees wobble and my voice quiver. I've always thought it a bit traitorous of my body to betray my abject fear the minute I get in front of an audience. It's hard to pretend you're comfortable with the situation when the podium and mike are experiencing an earthquake and your voice is tremulous. However, it would have been a bad thing to turn him down just because of unbridled panic, so this begins a collection of my thoughts as I searched for just the thing the Lord would have me say.

I sometimes think that our handling of this chapter of the Bible is ironic. We think of it and present it as a guide for women. We study and write about it to women, as a teaching for them and about them, giving them instruction in godly living. That's true, but it isn't the chapter's original purpose. It was actually intended for young men, specifically a young man named Lemuel. It is the record of a mother's teaching her son about women and what a really valuable woman looks like. Lemuel was destined to be king from the context of the chapter, and his godly and prudent mom took the time to teach him and counsel him. The largest part of this chapter is devoted to her specific teaching about wives.

I think it's interesting that a father's perspective is given throughout the book of proverbs and those truths are largely presented bluntly and in the negative : Stay away from harlots. A woman who nags will make you miserable. An immodest woman is like decorating a pig. And again stay away from harlots; they destroy even the strong. The mom takes the other direction and instead of giving the young man things to avoid in women, she tells him what is truly valuable, and what it looks like in everyday life so that he'll be able to recognize it.

I don't know about you, but I don't normally think of a mom teaching her son about women; that seems to me to be more of a "dad thing". It's clear from this passage that my perception is wrong.

So what does she say a young man should search for? A quick overview gave me these observations.

1. She's rare, as shown by the question "who can find?" If you wonder who can find something, it must be rare and require searching.

2. She's valuable. Jewels are precious gems.

3. She's trustworthy.

4. She does her husband good, and does not do him evil.

5.She works with her hands willingly, and actually actively seeks to work.

6.She prepares a variety of food.

7. She's up early (before dawn).

8.She is entreprenurial and financially responsible.

9. She has strong arms and legs.

10.She works into the night and makes quality merchandise.

11. She is industrious .

12. She cares for the poor

13. She cares for her family's physical needs (specifically in clothing and ahead of time)

14. She sews for herself

15. Her husband is well-known. It's interesting that this is noted to her credit.

16 She's creative and productive.

17. She's clothed with strength/honor/joy

18. She's known for wise speech, and kindness

19. She watches over her household and is not idle.

20. children's attitudes toward her are of blessing and appreciation

21. She's known for excellence.

22. She fears God and therefore is focused on the eternal not the temporal (specifically not concerned about popularity or what she looks like).

23. fruitful hands/ works

It seemed there were way too many choices of what I could say. So, what did I finally decide on? I ended up stuck on verse 10, and I'll give you my thoughts on that.... next blog.

Shouting and Banging Cymbals

I feel compelled to say something loudly. I want to yell and clash cymbals. I want to stomp my feet, wave a neon sign and hire a brass band. I'm sure you're wondering what has me feeling the need to make so much noise.

It seems that a pervasive idea has come into our churches and our hearts that we can attract the world to Jesus by being just like them....only Christian. Frankly, I hate the idea.

I became a believer and follower of Jesus at 17, a senior in high school. Dark of heart, ugly of manner, foul-mouthed and deeply entrenched in sin, I was completely enveloped in the culture of my time and embraced all of the darkness it had to offer. How did such a person become a follower of Jesus Christ? I heard the Bible preached, and saw people who were radically different from me. It was a small church, typical of many small churches. Ordinary people singing very old hymns at the top of their lungs, with an elderly thin preacher in a worn black suit reading from an old leather Bible, preaching truths that were totally new to me. Sure, I'd heard of Jesus. Everybody had heard of Jesus. These people were different. They hadn't just heard about Jesus, and from the first moment I was around them I could tell. When they sang, I almost fell off the pew. Their voices were so loud and so happy that it stunned me. I'd never heard anything like it.

I had nothing in common with these people. Black nails, heavy make-up, and a mini-skirt housing a heart that oozed darkness totally akin to the times I lived in, but they loved me and welcomed me as I was, unconditionally. However, the contrast between us was unmistakable. I couldn't have missed it. I couldn't have pretended to be one of them, and they never pretended to be just like me. They were totally different. They knew it and so did I.

Because of these people I prayed a life-transforming prayer one night alone in my room. I knelt and met the Jesus these people sang about, giving Him all the broken ugliness that was me, to do with as He pleased, and taking all of Him in return. It was a forever exchange, no turning back, no other option. I would never have prayed that prayer if the people had looked and sounded just like me. I am so thankful that they didn't. I would have despised them for a wanna be worldling or a dishwater sort of Christian. Realizing of course that if it hadn't done much for them, it surely wasn't enough power to do anything for me. Their inward transformation came all the way through their skin to touch every part of who they were and consequently touched me. So it's with profound thankfulness to those who were radically redeemed and took the time to be that before me and wanting the same for this generation that I prayerfully post this.

Goals

I must confess that this particular topic is not near and dear to my heart. I have serious butterfly tendencies as personality goes, which definitely works against any kind of planning or goal-setting. I listen to people who are driven that way and certainly admire their accomplishments and single-minded purpose, but have never been tempted to apply it personally. I guess I excuse myself figuring that a "creative" temperment flourishes best when it can "flit" around. I say excuse because I think that's what it is, a lame excuse.

I read something recently that piqued my interest and caused me to rethink the whole concept of goal-setting. The author talked about having set life goals with her husband many years previously and how those goals were still useful to her in her life to help her determine choices and directions even on a daily basis. I'd never thought of using "goals" as a way to determine direction or choice. I'm sure that's not particularly revolutionary to anyone else, but to my thinking it has revolutionary implications.

She for example had a goal of teaching women. She felt led of the Lord to be such a teacher, and since it was inline with Scripture it made it to her life-goal list. Having that goal on a list made choices about Bible courses, study groups, reading certain books and other related activities easy to evaluate for participation. It also made it easier to eliminate other things that did not prosper any of her listed goals. It made it easier to see "the fluff", so that she could better handle her time, redeeming it as we are admonished to in Scripture.

This appeals to me because I feel I often lack discernment as to which of the many opportunities which are presented on a daily/weekly/yearly basis are the ones that God would have me partake of. Everything sounds good or bad because I don't have a clear view of the Master's plan and tend to react based on the mood or circumstances of the moment. Perhaps that bears rethinking.

Daniel comes to mind as an example of a similar attitude. Dan. 1:8 says "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself." Daniel acted on a decision previously made, when he "purposed in his heart".

Goal choices lead to behavior changes. Those changes become habits. Dan. 6:10 "Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home. And in his upper room, with his windows open toward Jerusalem, he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God as was his custom since early days." Daniel's choices that day were life and death according to the law. Daniel knew what to do and how to do it. He did not have to agonize over whether to close his curtains or whether to forgoe praying for 30 days. An early "purposing of his heart" had led to behavior choices which were now ingrained habits.

So, what do my life goals look like? What behavior choices do they require? What habits have they or should they produce? Good questions, I guess it's time to write them down.

Strength for the Upright

I read this morning "The way of the Lord is strength for the upright,..." Prov.10:29a. It's a very simple and straightforward statement about how things work in the Lord's service. Obedience to the Lord makes you strong. Doing what the Lord has called you to do makes you strong. I suppose this is partly because God always empowers and equips where He calls. I wonder if burnout and and similar maladies can be traced to us leaving the way of the Lord and going our own way, or doing "good" things our own way. With the world and all it's swirling, confusing lies clamoring for our attention, it's no wonder we often find ourselves exhausted and weak and somewhere we did not intend to be. Time to evaluate.... is this The way of the Lord, or my own way?

Uncomfortable Questions

I'm finding myself really struggling over what a Christian woman's life is supposed to look like. There are what seems innumerable voices shouting different and conflicting answers. Seems like I've been in this place for awhile, and I can't seem to get a sufficient grip on the question let alone the answer. I realize of course that the answer is Jesus, and that because there are so many factors to consider no two lives will look exactly the same at all. Yet it seems to me, given that the answer is Jesus, all lives lived for Him will have the same heart and root . That is one of the precise points where my struggle centers. What does that heart and root look like in a woman's life when she is really committed to Jesus?


I'm a homeschooling mom. I've been a homeschooling mom since the eighties which probably makes me a dinosaur among other things. At any rate the message to women at that time was that revival comes through the family. We were told that the church would turn to Jesus if the families would raise their children for Jesus. So, that's where we attempted to walk. Our lifestyles were truly revolutionized as we brought our children home and eschewed public education. The message seems to me to have changed over the years, as homeschooling has become more accepted and even sometimes popular ( but that's better left for a different blog).


I find myself now at a point where you evaluate. Did we or are we making the difference that we hoped and prayed for? Perhaps I lack answers because no true evaluation is possible until the Judgement Seat of Christ, but I do not want to be at that eternal moment attempting to offer wood hay and stubble to Almighty God. So, what does an American homeschool mom 's life need to look like, in order for it not to fall into the category of wood, hay, or stubble? I'm sure by now I should have a good and established answer for that question, but I find myself unsure. I wonder what the other dinosaurs think. :)